i have a dinosaur tramp stamp
so literally, as soon as i tripped and fell and hit the floor the earthquake started. hows THAT for a self esteem boost?
I'm wayyy too drunk to be in a parade right now
he just left. I blew him in my kitchen while my parents slept down the hall. Welcome back home!
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
He was puking up tons. He aimed his face inside his coat. Not a drop in my car. Then he thanked me for the ride.
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
I'm pretty sure I swallowed a whole condom
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
He told me I smelled like peanut butter, pepperoni, and pure unbrieldled passion.
He fingerfucked me in the hot tub and then we had sex in the wine cellar. See thats why I like partying with rich people
Come over.
Look lady I can't have sex with you EVERY day. I have things to do.
Actually I learned to fire a 357 Magnum at the age of ten while on my very first period
She shit herself again. We're calling her the "Queen of Sharts".
Randomize
