I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
you were wandering around the street for like an hour singing "nothing but socks on"..an original you wrote after the 12th shot i believe
My boyfriend just sent me flowers. I am now crying at the fact i fucked my fat neighbor. God please help me.
I used the lotion his mom gave me for christmas to give him a hand job. It felt so wrong.
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
I dont know what we smoked last night but I woke up and found out I started writing a book called White Trash Princess. Its the best thing Ive ever read
Dude, we got to the strip club as they were closing, and you starting crying because, and I quote, "This is the closest to birthday sex I'm gonna get."
He's not very smart so he didn't know I was yelling at him with monologues from Scandal.
He got me off while watching hockey. He's a keeper.
If sending nudes to tinder boy is considered functional then yes.
He's ready to settle down, whereas I'm like "More shots please"
And the next thing I knew I was blowing this random hot italian bartender with an uncircumcised penis in his work closet
the awesomest thing about staying behind in our lame ass dorm room by myself during spring break: I've now nutted in 3 inconspicuous locations on your side of the room. brag to me again about how fucking awesome tahoe is you shithead. I dare you.
Upon further investigation my nipples are bruised and I have teeth marks all over.
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