We can make salsa ya know, maybe even some hot sauce. That doesn't mean we're married.
my periods are so regular now that they are sync-ed with my subscriptions of vogue.
the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
Just got walked in on during safety inspections
Think you passed?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
so just saw tiger woods pull a page out of his wifes book and hit some kid in the head with a golf club
It was the third Sunday in a row that I woke up in his bathtub. So no our sex life isn't that great anymore.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I ate cinnamon toast crunch. I'm officially out of the puke zone. Blackout drunk Friday. WHAT IS GOOD.
It was like an alcohol war zone and you left a soldier behind.
What happened to my knees?
You ate shit in front of the homeless people. They applauded.
The chances of me making out with someone next weekend are about the same as me not remembering it.
You know you've been having sex for 9 months when you do Rock Paper Scissors for who has to go on top
She took me to ER. She says thought it was a squirtgun filled with vodka and she was 'marking me for later.' Thank god it's a flesh wound, and we're cool and going to date.
gtg, the cops are here
Randomize