The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
We may or may not have a drunk cat on our hands.
I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
I think my goal in life now is to be a Trending topic on Twitter after I die.
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
Dude you should see the looks were getting for ordering a pitcher of beer with breakfast.
Well I'm 2 for 2 with the absinthe, I just woke up in some random car behind the bar
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
I was all over the place but at every locale you would pop out of nowhere and hand me a huge drink and say "HAMMERED"
I am the fairy godmother of the drink.
I'm rearranging all my life goals to become a billionaire by 28 and batman by 30. Not kidding.
I'm daydrinking whiskey in a princess hat
He was like, I wanna take it slow. I took off my bra And I was like, either we have sex now or you get out.
Don't you hate falling asleep on the couch with a glass of wine in your hand? It's like dreaming about peeing and then realizing you've peed the bed only stickier.
I love you man but my hope is that you will not wake me up again by pissing on me
are you really asking me this. do you KNOW how many times i masturbate in a day? yeah. wrong person to ask about romance.
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