Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
It's officially time to start saving up weed money for the NCAA tournament
Last night I ate parmesan cheese straight out of the container while watching Chelsea Lately. Look at what happens to me when you leave.
He was spoon feeding me wine all night.
Hey man sorry, can't talk. I'm already taking risks by ripping the bong on this conference call.
I should start riding the bus again so I can drink all day
You have permanently scared my back with your nails. I would like to congratulate you on a job well done.
No it's cool, He's been doing my English papers in exchange for lap dances since the eleventh grade. We're very professional.
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
I hope I don't have to wait for another triple crown winner to get laid again.
My lash glue is stronger than my sense of self respect
How is it that 364 days a year I'm the adult, but on Halloween you completely forget how to have fun and become my grandma?
are you still alive?
no.
i'll cry at your funeral. and leave a burrito by your tombstone
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