How old was that tiny chick? she needs a lard iv.
Dude, I don't care how big her tits are. I have to dump her. She shit in my shower.
His ankle bracelet only gets in the way when I'm trying to take off his pants.
I'm glad I have good healthy relationships with my one night stands
I guess I tried to show you how big my closet was and we ended up eating pickles in my bathroom
He said female orgasms are a myth and refuses to even try to give me one.
Guess what happened to me today at work?
I have chlamydia. What happened.
Oh lets talk about your news first. Mine is happy so it should go second.
Stop banging my friends. This is getting weird.
Stop being friends with hot 18 year old girls.
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
I accidentally told my mom "the reason I didn't answer your call is because my phone was in my pants, on the floor"
My life hurts
I woke up 30 minutes away from the bar, my car was at a train station, and when I got home all I got was the speechless head shake
I mean, how am I going to build a relationship on trust if he finds out I roofied him?
Damn you. I'm in a bar with Southern Jesus Fearing Blah Blah Rednecks WHO ARE PROBABLY VOTING FOR TRUMP and you go radio silent.
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
Randomize
