I'm either going to be a Playboy Playmate or take over the world. Either way the world wins.
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
I just had a flashback to last nights party, I'm pretty sure I told most of the people there that I post a masturbation schedule for an iCal download.
She calls me Shortcake and bites my ear. Trust me, I'm FINE with bein the secret lesbian lover.
I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
No, but I woke up here and my pockets are full of raisins. Like 6 different pockets.
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
An old white couple caught us smoking the foot long. THE LOOK ON THEIR FACES.
I tried to get more sleep but the universe decided I needed a drunken freshman instead
There's a Japanese guy here dressed as a Viking who just screamed "wats up cocksluts" and kicked a guy in the face. come get me out of here.
Walking actually physically hurts. We should do it again some time.
I trusted a fart in Toronto. NEVER TRUST A FART IN TORONTO.
i woke up on the third floor, naked in a closet.
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
Randomize
