Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
The bouncer asked you what your sign was and u replied "syracuse"
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
We walked in and found his glass coffee table broken and you in the bathroom throwing up saying "What a bad first impression."
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
there's a liquor store near my therapist
i might give it a shot.
The only thing you accomplished yesterday was dry humping me on the floor of my work place WHILE I was working.
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
I think I'm drunk at the airport. Oh the possibilities
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
Dude I just realized i did a camper walk of shame in front of amish people. I should have asked for cheese and a home made pie to cover it up. Im just lost shopping in amish country nothing to see here
Vodka, rum, moonshine, I don't care, just bring like 5gallons.
I'm owning this being a social human being thing tonight!
Pretty sure if we keep hanging out on Tuesdays there will be no whiskey left for the younger generations or the universe will implode....tomato tahmato
i don't think the phrases "so shitty" & "taking care of my newborn" should be combined in the same sentence. leave it to her to make it possible eh?
Randomize
