Peanut Butter and turkey sandwich...this may come back to haunt me
how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
Just seeing my phone say "picture message from: Senor Floppy Cock", i knew it was going to make me smile.
He made fire alarm noises before throwing up all over the street.
This is all my moms fault. She shouldn't have encouraged my weird fascinations as a child
What was the name of the cook I had sex with at Famous Dave's?
Well I knew we were drunk when I told you it was a good idea to shit in the ocean
he just sent me a picture of his penis sticking through a piece of paper that he had drawn a stick figure with tits on it that said "you"
Before I left he insisted on serenading me with a ukalele. I might be a little bit in love
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
Carson when you get home I want you to go downstairs and go into each bedroom and pick up the underwear and either throw it out or give it back to the people who own them. Look all over the room. Thank, Love Mom
Well I just put wine in my tea
Some guy just walked past the bus stop in a lab coat and with a samurai sword and case...
You think my vibrator will be okay in the dishwasher?
Randomize
