I just want to get to the point in our relationship where I can get on top of her and fart and we can both laugh...not just me.
So I missed her say 'don't' before 'come in me'. She felt what was happening and freaked - which actually made the moment 100x better.
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
I'll just dance on top of the ping pong table, and if it's stable enough for that, then it's stable enough for sex
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
Picking up hoes with my dad is going to make it a little harder, but ay, if thats how he wants to bond after 23 years, Ill give it a shot
I just lit a candle in my room using axe and a lighter, that's how bored I am. Let's get schwasted.
I woke up on a navy base in a different time zone. I'm never leaving tallahassee again.
So last night I turned down multiple drinks because "I didn't want to hold them". It's time reevaluate my decisions
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
I didn't tell that thing I wasn't coming over. Whoops
You know you haven't dated in a while when you call boys "that thing" and call dates "a boy type thing."
Tinder recommend to a friend: making threesomes easier since 2016
Finding my pants in the morning should not make me this proud
Fun fact: nipples work on touch screens. Tell your friends :)
Drunk me bought a cell phone last week and began texting sober me. The conversation between the two is still on going.
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