i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
Its a good thing the lights were off cuz Im pretty sure the look on my face when I touched his penis would have offended him
Okay, good. And if you have one of those portable strip poles that would be nice too.
drunk doesnt even begin to explain it. he said he was going to get playing cards from the lobby and came back 20 minutes later with a full set of sheets.
She gave him a lap dance on the glass table. You can guess how that ended
Maybe if more guys knew my pillowtalk occasionally includes me scribbling notebook diagrams of cell signalling pathways, I'd get laid more often
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
Im organizing a group to help fondle my shoe. Too many shots dude. Too many.
I just want to be naked all the time but not in a sexual, come-hither and look at my ass sort of way. In a slightly chubby yet not ashamed way as I eat Taco Bell and lay on soft fuzzy blankets.
I wish you could see all the crumbs in my bra....it looks like Hansel & Gretel got lost in my cleavage.
Apparently this establishment won't let you rent a sailboat if you have been drinking rum all morning
Like, bro, how do you think I got the idea to go sailing
Honey you are a beautiful woman but I came over to eat your pizza and fuck your brother. And you're out of pizza.
Oh my god.. Saw a commercial for Captain Morgan. Made me gag a little bit.
Is it bad that if I found out I couldn't have kids I'd be more pissed that I've been using unnecessary condoms than the fact that I'll never be a mother?
If you survived your 72 hour masturbation marathon put on some pants and come over. My mom dropped off a lasagna.
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