lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
I wish I could test you the smell I just had to experience. It smelled like this lady was microwaving squirrel rectum.
next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
you gave the police officer your chanel wallet and said 'just keep it the i.d. is fake too'.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
Its great. Every time she starts barking i know ive got approximately 37 seconds to hide my gf in the closet and throw some clothes on
If I weren't her cousin I'd take advantage of her and this low point in her life.
I just slow jerked to the titanic theme song, i dont think theres enough alcohol in the state to get me over her tonight
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have been drinking since 2. And I'm now chasing the cat around the house with a light saber. Anna's helping.
He filled four shots of Everclear and walked around saying "FREE VODKA SHOTS". he is to blame.
They better not charge my debit card for what you peed on.
Hearing them have a conversation is like listening to water buffalo have sex. Awkward and scarring.
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
I'm so hung over that I'm pretty sure I can feel the earth's rotations when I close my eyes.
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