We were making out in the bushes when some dude comes and starts peeing beside us.
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
Yo I'm texting you while getting a bj. I know, I'm the man. Told her I was texting my mom in the hospital.
I have this strange craving to see a really fat person go down a slipnslide
you spent the rest of the night making a recipe for mixed drink called "the new years bowel remover". it has 13 parts but judging from the bold all caps, the boiled avocado is the most important
That penis you're staring at is the penis of heartbreak. Stay away. It will break your heart AND keep you away from other penises. BACK. OFF. THE PENIS.
I won't drink with you again until you promise to not feed me anymore paper bags
Please delete that video of me blowing you. I will repay you with 100 blowjobs even better than the one I gave you during that video. Please. I am gonna be a grandma one day.
I knew it would be a shit show so I just went ahead and took plan b before I even got there. How's that for responsible?
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
Plus who wants to live somewhere tom jerked off? No one.
I'm in jersey with marbles.. He's blasted about to fuck a manatee and his entire family is trying to stop it. His mother punched me in the chest for not trying hard enough
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
Randomize
