i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
Still at the library. i hate tax accounting so much that i've started calling it potions...
Get the fuck buddy a birthday present or not? He def deserves one, but how do I explain the debit card charge to my husband?
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
I gotta bail on the cookout tonight. Im at the er getting stitches. Re-enacting porno went horribly wrong.
Is it possible to have pulled a muscle in my neck from passing out with my head in a bucket?
My boss just sent an employee on an hour long paid break to pick up weed for our 'staff meeting' tomorrow morning.
We held a candle light vigil outside the jail hoping for her release, until we realized we were drunk in the jail parking lot.
Hey I'm sorry for head butting you last night. Personally I thought it was funny at the time, but I can see how from your perspective it may not have been as enjoyable for you... Hope your lip is okay.
i need to stop meeting underage girls and letting them into the bar. i mean yea its a surefire way to get laid without having to tell them I'm 26 but i feel like as a bouncer I'm focusing on all the wrong things
Whenever you have to pee or whatever I'll be over here to harass you
In all the years we have had drunk sex, have we ever done it in a bed?
Are you sure you found YOUR underwear?
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
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