I just want to hang out with her.
You're a liar. Why do I have to give you reasons you can't have sex with my mom? I hate you.
Joe is yelling at the trees again.
i hate that you can chart my weight gain through my facebook pictures.
Is it wrong that I didn't stop masterbating when the credit card company called?
did you answer or finish?
both
Eric and I got kicked off of karaoke last night. Apparently, singing about masturbation to the tune of "A Whole New World" is not appropriate and definitely frowned upon by the DJ.
She poured a bottle of rum in the champagne fountain, did like 5 jello shots at the same time, then lit herself on fire. Twice. This is how everyone should turn 21.
I don't know ur idea of a good first date but I'm pretty sure it shouldn't include him holding my hair while I puke in the street
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
I mean you can't really blame him. He's named after whiskey and I don't get along with pants.
I actually have to watch Breaking Bad to make me feel better about my choices last night.
my roommates tied me up with rope and duct tape then left me outside the door to the hot girls' suite on my floor, knocked on the door and ran away leaving me there with a sign that says free
Well I just put wine in my tea
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
I just want him to go down on me while I eat a burger. Is that too much to ask?
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
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