Yeah. I woke up naked in his bed this morning and remember saying "Get a condom cuz I can't afford an abortion right now" last night. He didn't run. He's a keeper
Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
she smelled like a LAN party
I joined a mariachi band. they gave me a guitar because i told them i could play. It actually turned out ok
They kicked me out of the mariachi band. Turns out I'm not that good
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
I can't believe you're trying to guilt me into a blow j because a tornado made you homeless.
Is it working?
The money is just too good to quit doing it. I'm using the same justification strippers use.
I LOVE YOU SO MUCH I'M ON A WILD DICK CHASE FOR YOU. How many lesbians do YOU know that would do that? HOW MANY????
Everyone at work loved my story about sobering up in a river with no bra on.
Remember when puke and rally meant a good time? Fuck pregnancy
We were talking when all of a sudden she reach and started squeezing my dick and goes "nice." and then just kept the conversation going like nothing happened.
Saved a second guy who was crying/on the verge of wigging out. Just call me the drug whisperer.
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
New one isn't as good asmy ex. She won't put her tongue up my butt
Peter this is your "ex"
I stand by what i said
Randomize
