Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
he asked me to help him wrap his girlfriends birthday presents. Dont worry we fucked right after.
She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
she's sitting alone using her breathalyzer as a kazoo. help.
You'd be proud of me. They tried to give me bread to sober up, but I told them no, im on a diet.
nah we got kicked outta the bar after the bouncer saw us putting straws up Chelsea's nose to make her look like a walrus after she fell asleep at the table
I think a van full of parolees just blew me kisses. Thoughts?
if elf comes on TV one more time i swear to god i will smash my brains out with this fruitcake
A 3am FaceTime to go to IHOP is the closest thing to a bootycall that I'm getting
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
I should know better than to open your texts at the grocery store
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
woke up and you werent here...its ok if we're never going to speak again but my furry hand cuffs are missing and i would like them back. thanks.
Randomize
