george bush was a better president for first pitches than barack obama. there. i said it.
they ran out of ice so they are using frozen shrimp in their drinks
I don't drink during the week.... well, except for Bailey's Tuesdays, which I have to start implementing further.
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
There were slices of bread pasted to the wall with peanut butter this morning. I don't want to know
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
It's sitting in bleach right now. You will be the creepiest coolest dude in my book if you made a bracelet from my tooth.
It's all fun and games until your AARP eligible neighbors end up blacking out in your yard at 5pm with a box of franzia. I'm feeling a great year ahead
Seriously. Come back. I've had two beers for breakfast so far. The third will be for lunch since it's already 12.
You remember the guy they called Meat in high school? Well, let's just say my vagina remembers him now.
Congratulations, you have turned my vagina into a garden hose.
Woke up with champagne in my hair and honey mustard on my hands. Strangely, I'm okau with this
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
We're in a hurricane and you send me a video of you playing with your dick while driving! You wanna die?!
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
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