normally I beat off every night before I go to bed even though my little brother sleeps in the same room. So I was starting to last night, and he jumped out of bed and said "Fuck, Im not listening to this shit again" We havent talked since. fuck me
I need to take "lollipop" off of every single one of my playlists cause it makes me wanna suck dick.
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
regular news: took many shots of tequila.....bad news: woke up with a toothbrush and vagisil next to me.....good news: clean as a whistle
at least if we puke, we will be surrounded by beautiful, non-judgemental trees.
they lined up to high five me when i got taken out by the stretcher. The paramedic high fived them too
what's the appropriate greeting for someone whose bed you've had sex with someone else in?
This is John, I met you downtown last night.
Oh, ok.
This is the cop that kept you out of trouble last night
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
I mean there are things broken right and left, I woke up surrounded by dog statues, and we had a vodka bubble bath.
It was super embarrassing when I had to tell my brother, in front of my mother, that my wifi password was Drinkupbitches. Thanks for providing that lovely family moment.
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
Oh man I wish I could've gotten a picture of how many anti-circumcision stickers are on this Prius
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
She meowed at me. Repeatedly. Then she asked what was wrong with me because I didn't understand her.
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