More dangerous that a broken heart and a shotgun.
You know you're true friends when you can talk about what sexual diseases you may or may not have.
Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
literally every day that goes by where he doesn't talk to me makes me more determined to get him to have sex with me
Not only do I have sand in my ass, but a crab pinched me while we were fucking. Still totally worth it.
She just got in car wreck. Wreck sex is better than break up sex
I jumped on his cock in 2 seconds flat. Thanks mom for sending me to gymnastics when I was a kid.
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
make that a herd of moose. they will be my moose minions
Decided I'm going to wear a shirt that says "I'm sorry" whenever we go back to that fraternity
Tell me why I woke up outside of our hotel room Wearing a cowboy hat and boots in Las Vegas.
So I was just like hi, I'm your roommate's gf. Please don't hate me. That would be rly inconvenient for you.
Pussy, Peanut Butter Cookies,and Bubble Wrap
We need a signal or code word for "I basically shaved my whole body and we should touch each other tonight".
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
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