no... you woke up naked next to the toilet because you said your outfit was too cute to throw up in
We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
Chasing a shot of svedka with a clementine is NOT the same as tequila w lime...
I always enjoy the bewildered gaze as I buy chips, salsa and beer @ 0745.
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
Find me a date. With a beard. I want him to rub his beard on my tits. I'm not even into that stuff but I think it'd be so warm.
Between my sister puke and rallying at the bar and my brother sending a drunk passed out naked pic in which his dick was exposed, I don't know which sibling to be more proud of this weekend.
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
He could stay over, if you'd just ask.
Yeah. What am I supposed to say? "Oh, my couch is occupied, but my vagina's not"
I'm on my way back with the wine... And a puppy. It was free.
Your mankini haunted my dreams.
He was standing in the living room wearing a Donald Trump wig and looking very disappointed
found my cat trying to steal a lighter to hide away for himself. cat what are you doing. don't pocket my lighter.
Can you imagine doing supermarket sweep in a sex store? What's the sex store equivalent of a whole ham?
Randomize