I plan on putting pajamas back on after I shower. Today is going to be awesome.
i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
Having sex with her is like doing taxes, Happens once a year and I usually end up paying.
He gets a blow job; I get my oil changed free of charge. And that way I only see him every 2500 miles.
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
Dude. I'm busy doing PR for America. FOR AMERICA. Europeans think we can't handle liquor.
Did you really lure me out of the bar with a blond holding a dunkin donuts bag? Well played sir, well played.
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
And as cleavage season comes to a close, so blooms a new season of yoga pants. And the people rejoiced.
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
AND WHAT FELONIES DID I MISS OUT ON WHILE SLUMBERING!?
I'm just to the point my give a fucks is so far in the red that I'm going to have to take out a 30yr loan of fucks to repay it
i guess "never drinking again" is not an option when you invent a whole new level of drunk...
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
Randomize
