Buhtt sex?
I really wish I didn't have to wear pants this is ridiculous
My mouth already tastes like senor cuervo took a piss in it and it's barely 1 am
Oh boy...do i want the 'something you can tell your mom in 10 yrs' version or the 'Im gonna call you a whore but be proud' version?
Not sure if it is a new high or new low, but i left a basket on the porch of the sorority I woke up at. It had a description of the Minnie Mouse I woke up next to, and Plan B.
Tip of the day: Don't ever send a bootycxall at 3 in aftnoon. No one will respond n u'll just feel fooolish.
Unfortunately hes not a hipster douchebag with no life goals, so naturally I'm not interested.
Mostly because I hate my job and a have a photogenic penis.
have you ever seen all dogs go to heaven this is important
Phil and I agree that the level of sand in your vagina rivals that of many of the earth's largest deserts
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
I'm gonna die. First I'm gonna throw up. But then I'm gonna die.
What's goes good with Everclear?
Pepto-Bismol and a sandwich.
Charging my vibrator at work. Pray to god I don't forget it!!!
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
Randomize
