fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
apparently, "please pick me up from the airport" also means "i got drunk on the flight and need to give you roadhead in broad daylight"
Best text conversation ever. Other than the one we had about using blood for lube.
so i had sex last night with my 12th partner, but hes number 1 for my first time using a condom. i think im finally learning.
I either just got cockblocked or saved from a lengthy court case so I'm kinda conflicted about how my night went.
I save people's lives for a living, but I want to ruin his marriage.
Something about a hand job in a car doesn't scream girlfriend
I pretty much just threw a bunch of clothes and my vodka in a bag..idk where I'm gonna end up tonight but I'm prepared.
My period started right as he was entering, which really helped me sell the "I've never done this before" bit.
I would like to apologize once again for rubbing your thigh with my hands and face for a very long time last night.
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
You came in last night, ate an entire avocado in silence, and then told me I should never accept rides from strangers. Not sure I even want to know what happened to you last night!
We had sex while watching the republican debate. I'm not sure how he maintained an erection watching Donald Trump speak.
The sad moment you remember you have no power for a week and can't flush.....
Wrong number bro but that sounds like a damn shame.
When was the last time you got laid?
When was the last time you came home sober?
touche
Randomize
