I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
Security brought me back to our hotel room in a wheelchair last night. Vegas.
And if you ever tell anyone that I will fucking kill you.
the kid next to me in training is drinking sangria. its 9am here in case you couldnt calculate. its going to be a good year.
If I have to go to the hospital can we stop by the liquor store on the way?
One of the bamboo sticks broke and impaled him. I think he's drunk enough that it shouldn't hurt until tomorrow.
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
Apparently I told the bartender to stop putting ice in my drink because it was taking up too much room
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
You got a blow job by a girl whose nickname is "the terrible tooth"?! You are a brave man.
I'm sorry. I slept with him again. On the plus side he's got better at it!
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
There is a sex dungeon behind the wine cellar. This is why I hate showing foreclosures.
Randomize
