did you get engaged???
It only happened twice. Once we used extra virgin olive oil and once I used saliva and brute force.
His uber religious wife caught us having anal sex in their bed..... she called us sodomites. Can you even be a sodomite if you're a girl?
You're not a sodomite. You're a whore. Tell her to get the insults right. Did she try to save you with Jesus?
She said she'd pray for me. Man, if I had just caught my husband balls deep in some ho, I'd say fuck the praying and kick her ass.
I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
I just heard the term negative masterbation and I don't believe it
I AM SAFE. EVERYTHING IS FOG. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED.
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
He lectured me about the dangers of drugs while wearing a sombrero and doing interpretive dance.
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
She can't meet us until 830...there's no hope for our sobriety at that hour
I apologize for tapping your ass. It was a friendly tap. Like Casper. Ya know
What's the world record for number of orgasms reached on ones birthday? Asking for a friend.
I really hope this is just a phase, because I am not capable of carrying both of our drunken whore asses through life. Too much dead weight....
Randomize
