im pretty sure there are laws against slapping prostitutes
i'm pretty sure there are laws against prostitutes.
Herpes is a lot like Arnold Schwartzenneger. Because it always comes back. Also, because it is usually in some way in control of California.
I knew my chances of getting laid had increased after she walked into my room and yelled "DICK TIME"
Just saw the liqour store owner get into a mercedes, almost proud to be responsible for that
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
He started to notice that i sleep with every girl he calls dibs on.
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
I took shots of absinthe with my mom just now. Except awful things.
He walked in at 7am saying that the police had his shoes and phone because he's being investigated for attempted auto theft.
quick, give me some iron man trivia, i'm going to make this girl regret quoting tony stark in her tinder bio
Letting Freddy Krueger eat me out = HAPPY HALLOWEEN TO ME!!!
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
gave out my moms phone number instead of mine last night... thattttttttttttttt dunk.
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