I went to the gynecologist and they said, "you're the most fun person we've ever had," and i thought, "that's exactly why i'm here!"
I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
How long can I microwave pasta with a 20 percent alcohol content?
He was sitting on the bathroom floor, swirling his finger in the toilet singing the Laguna Beach theme song. I don't know whether to laugh or help him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
Also you were throwing your phone yelling this is durable as shit
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
I need a kidney, not a pussy. All the pussy in the world isn't going to save my life. Keep your pussy in your pants and give me a kidney.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Summary of my night: made out with a complete stranger at a club dressed in the Geico gecko costume...
We were getting breakfast he shit himself in the middle of ihop. Mid bite he just yells out o fuck.
I fucked R2D2 last night. I consider Star Wars day a success.
On today's episode of "What the Shit Did I Do Last Night," drunk me deleted ALL of the text messages I've ever had. Awesome.
I remember you banged her while I was dying on your couch, so good call
Who the hell tries to steal eggnog.
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