i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
I'm guessing "whatever I can get" wasn't the reply the nurse wanted when asking what med I need. Oh, and asked for a cartoon band-aid.
They were actually really boring considering how we met them.
howd you meet them?
They got shit-faced and decided to take a train to a city none of them had ever been to. We found them wandering the ghetto, with a bottle of gin and singing Disney songs.
You got into a heated argument about Frankenstein's intelligence while double fisting burritos from taco bell.
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
I think my hookup is starting to fall for me. Time to break his heart.
I AM COVERED IN FAKE BLOOD AND REAL CUM. I AM AWESOME
Whiskey dick is like insurance for making bad decisions
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
So because I got upset you didn't answer I threw my phone in the garbage disposal last night
Awk. Hanging with her while messaging her ex about sex injuries he gave me
I have a corndog on my dresser and a trashcan of puke. Thanks for a great night!
so i put my jacket on last night that you wore last weekend, and reach inside the pockets and find them full of goldfish...
the snack that smiles back:)
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
I just want this to serve as a reminder in the morning that the topic of conversation at last call was the penis size of jesus.
Randomize
