Today's life lesson: fat girls should not wear tight miniskirts and vinyl leggings. This Forever 21 salesgirl is a hot mess.
Did I get blown in the bathroom? Yes. Did she throw up cranberry juice on my shorts? Yes. Did she finish the job? Yes.
think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
Everything was going good until she wanted to update her status...You forgot to close pterodactyl porn from this morning. Clothes went back on.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
last night i found out that about 5 of my friends audio recorded us having sex through the bedroom door, then auto tuned it in the tpain app on his iphone.
Sundays have taken on a whole new meaning when I'm not in bed with an excruciating hangover.
Remind me to tell you the "if you give a mouse a special brownie" story when you get back
Well, think of it this way, if this were 200 years ago your father would have received the most goats in all the village for your fertile loins. Think about that.
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he was inside of, then got up said "we don't want you having a baby," grabbed his car keys and left. so now i'm just sitting on his bed, wondering if he's coming back.
stop sending me battleship coordinates and get back here so i can suck your dick
You literally chaperoned my booty call.
Well, I currently have zero fuckboys and my vibrator just broke. A fresh start to May.
One less thong to worry about.
One less *thing! But probably that too.
If you binge watch Bill Nye Saves the World without me you can consider yourself single
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