Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
New. Vanessa hudgens nude pics
That text made me feel like i signed up for some awesome celeb nude pic reminder
Also, on a completely related note, just came up with an awesome business plan. You in?
my phone calendar just alerted me that it's "weed time" in 15 minutes. do not remember setting that alert last night...
should my penis look like a turkey
making your facebook status TEQUILA is like basically saying "im easy tonight. feel free to take advantage"
Slept in my car last night. It snowed. I peed on the street. Hello 29...
Shit. I'm suppose to call the bank but I'm too high to talk numbers.
I made one of my coworkers cheers to me not being pregnant. I've never talked to him before tonight. Keeping it classy.
Then years and years after that I will send you a picture of my warped vagina from all the kids that I had.
Do you know how much wine is in a box of wine? Not so much an amount, but whether it will kill me if I drink the entire box this xmas
Well i would have gone to the bar but Satan decided to hold his rituals in my uterus.
I have a 8 minute video of a fish tank on my phone.
We need to stop going to pet stores high.
The only monogamous relationship I can keep is with my eyebrow lady...
My dad is blowing up my phone with pictures from the midget wrestling match.
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