i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
i tried slipping money on her dresser whenever she brings guys home hoping she'll start to question her goals in life... i think its only encouraging her
we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
How was your weekend?
The sex was so good. It hurts to exist.
She's currently upstairs fucking her boyfriend while I am downstairs making them a sex playlist watching her boyfriend's Weiner dog and large Boxer try and mount each other. Marvin Gaye is playing. This is the ultimate third wheel fail.
my mom was by far the drunkest one there. best impromptu wednesday afternoon party ever
I began mixing captain Morgan and jack daniels and called it captain jack sparrow. I puked. a lot.
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
My greatest accomplishment today was eating a box of Thai food the size of a toddler.
Yea she is hot. But she also had no toothpaste in her entire apartment.
Literally.... Guy kissing himself in mirror in this hotel elevator
And on the 323rd day without sex, God finally said let there be light...or love?
Actually, my eyes didn't start bleeding until the next day. So it was a pretty awesome night overall.
I HATE BEING THIS HIGH FML IT'S LIKE I'M MAKING UP FOR ALL THE 4:20S I DIDNT DO ALL AT ONCE
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