I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
so how does soaking flintstones gummy vitamins in vodka not make perfect sense
Dude, for your own safety, do not bring that chick home. I'm pretty sure you're going to find a marsupial pouch smuggling a fresh batch of herpes under that hoodie. Bail bail bail bail bail.
ALERT: Turns out when I'm drunk I turn into a clepto. I just found keys, a ketchup bottle, and sweatshirt in my backpack that don't belong to me. If yours, come collect from me. I'm still drunk in the back of biology lecture.
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
I'm responsible for my client's overall well-being. Which is terrifying coming from someone that can't stop masturbating and eats leftover pizza just about everyday.
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
I think a girl on my floor is watching zombie porn. There is literally no other description for the noise coming from her room.
He flipped me around so that we could have sex and both watch Die Hard... I think I found my sole mate. Merry Christmas to me!!🎄
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
Dude... this pee is not alleged
YOU SAT ON MY LAP!
Wuddup pee lap
I’m good. I learned that a guy ate the mushrooms that were growing out of his toilet, so there’s that.
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