He was eating me out on the dryer...and his mom walked in with her laundry basket...
He wasn't the only one with a full load.
I've come to notice a late period isn't as exciting when you have no reason to worry
You covered in salsa con queso would take care of all of my cravings right now
three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
Clearly my hormones are sending beaming lights to every penis in the area
My radar detector detects ice cream trucks. I think it was made for stoners
Just for the record, you referenced Harry Potter while complaining about being torn between the Slytherin (lesbians) and Gryffindor (your mostly straight friends) houses (tables)
tried to suck my ex boyfriends dick last night at a bar... Happy homecoming from me to you
We ran out of toilet paper so Ive been using coffee filters
How hot? Like... how many hemsworths?
I just hooked up with the German exchange student who doesn't speak English. And you said I have no talent.
I'm a history major and he's the descendant of TWO presidents. Did you really think I wasn't going to sleep with him?
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