so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
Just opened a bottle with my rape whistle. At least it's finally getting used for something.
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
he kept a regular condom in his wallet just so he could comment on how it wouldnt fit before whipping out the magnums. i give him points for the build up
You coming home soon, man?
HENBARSCLOSE
The guy in the next stall screamed courtesy flush and then puked. Bless you Vegas
You should try cooking mac & cheese naked sometime. It's quite relaxing.
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
Again??? Now we can't ever fucking go there again STOP PEEING IN FOYERS
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
Dude we smoked with a bunch of random stoners in a forest, then group hugged. It was the most magical thing we've ever done.
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
If TJ is short for Trader Joe, I'm gonna fuck him
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
I only have sex with you to have a memory to masturbate to.
Randomize
