You know that restaurant that is like over by home depot?
That shitty one? I heard the food sucks there
It's my parent's restaurant
Last night I broke through a door, was hospitialized, arrested, and threw my shoe at a bouncer. This summer is gonna be fuckin sick.
You're gonna have to start calling my house phone from now on
How come?
Cuz 'Dad' looked pretty similar to the word Dane when i sent that picture message
Babe! I just farted and I swear to jesus lord christ that it sounded like ur name! Ok, more like Meeatt but still... awesome.
Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
I think "banned from Amtrak due to excessive projectile vomiting" would sum up the evening quite nicely.
Man, I must say, having known you since preschool, Eiffel-Tower-ing her would've fully completed our journey to brotherhood.
Can we just discuss how hundreds of miles away we were both beyond drunk and in some boys bed. That is the definition of friendship.
eating jello out of the cup. with my face. while on the toilet. i am at my lowest.
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
just woke up on my patio with a mouse eating cheetos off mys chest. youre all assholes.
The best part about daylight savings time this weekend is we get an extra hour to be fucked up.
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
Randomize
