I have so many mobile devices now, I only use my laptop for porn.
Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
I walked into his living room and saw him watching the play-offs while eating tomato paste out of the can with a bottle of wine. I'm telling you to stop talking to him. now.
Most sexually ambiguous night of my life. Kept switching from the NBA finals to the Tonys.
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
Don't lose. A little bit of my soul dies every time a beer pong game is lost.
I felt like in order for him to make it to mordor and destroy the ring, he'd have to make sweet sweet love to me in some form of hut or cave.
i mean i'm drinking free wine with lesbians and listening to sinead oconnor so i'm not sure who won that breakup
I literally have nothing else left to cut besides my drug budget; the dark days are among us
just chugging fertility tea and vodka, no big deal.
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
let me wake up, find my pants, and find out where i am tommorow and ill get back to you on that
I had a threesome last night with my fiance' and our soon to be best man. Everyone is surprisingly chill about it this morning. Is this any indication of what the wedding night will be like?
All I could think about was how many vaginas had been on the toliet that I was pukin in
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