There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
I'm sweating while I eat mac and cheese. That fat.
It's official, I've know hooked up with everyone I carpooled with in middle school
You are writing your college essay comparing yourself to Lady Gaga, Vladimir Putin, and Dale Earnhardt Jr. and you are worried about the conclusion sounding cheesy?
She told me to wait on the sofa while she freshened up. She's been in the bathroom for an hour. I have a bad feeling about this.
No one will ever love me with the amount of puke on my hand
I woke up next to him fully clothed but my thong was around his neck. Polling to decide if we had sex or not starts now.
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
Dude you of all people would miss her giving him a handjob in front of the whole party
I think I'm going to give him a welcome back to single life blow job
American Eric just peed on us from the second floor. Hes now very confused as to why his "toilet is yelling." Send help.
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
Fuck my life he IS a stripper, Ive been sleeping with a stripper named Phoenix. damnit, I knew the sex was too good
From now on he's gonna have to shave first. It feels like I got eaten out by a chainsaw!
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
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