I went to his work to give him some blankets and ended up blowing him in the bathroom. See what happens when you don't come over?
How can people commit suicide when things like bagels exist
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
What's the appropriate I've been inside you but we're not technically dating valentines present?
I basically get to watch her life fall apart via tumblr updates
We'll find out our level of friendship after tonight. You'll be helping me move a body. My body.
He's just so adorable. And I don't want to fuck someone who's adorable.
BECAUSE THIS IS AMERICA AND DONUTS AND TITTIES AND ALCOHOL IS WHAT THIS COUNTRY WAS FOUNDED ON
Everyone heard you scream that I was to be naked, in your bed in 5 minutes. We were one hell of a shitshow spectacle
I have to have sex on a bidet. I'm not sure what kind, but it's reason #4 for an Italian vacation!
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
He showed up to my apt at 6am wearing a suit and holding a bag of coke....how could I not let him in?
Ok next time we are filming it. You bring the camera and I'll buy more socks
Decisions were made. The quality of them will be judged tomorrow
Randomize
