Being a girl sucks.
Being a boyfriend sucks for about a week, too
His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
It was just a friend comforting a friend. Except his penis was inside of me.
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
She's like a connoisseur of porn. Her collection has things in it I never even knew existed. She even has an Italian batman porno. Where has she been all my life?
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
Seriously, I am going to crawl in a hole, sew my vagina shut, and spit acid on any man that comes near me.
Everybody shut up a minute, we need to discuss how much nicer the world would be if pants weren't a thing.
We got a noise complaint for vacuuming too much but not for getting really high and yelling about peanut butter
Listen. You dont know how advanced you are in yoga till you have to shave your butthole
...and now I welcome the sweet embrace of death.
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
like honestly, the vodka had to go somewhere, and your moms soap dispenser just seemed right at the time..
Randomize
