Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
Baconater + red wine = first meal of the day
This girl told me she was a virgin the other day. I felt like I was talking to a unicorn.
2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
we got 12 live crabs and then we got really stoned and know we're playing with the crabs. thats nom watermellon nom. now i'm plaing with a crap whos such a gentleman
I don't even know. I woke up in the bathtub with no shirt, covered in towels holding what appeared to be vanillia pudding mixed with captain morgan.
Circumcision scars are like fingerprints. I think I'm on to something man.
There's puke on my pillow. I'm still wearing my wedges. And I have a cab drivers number clutched in my fist.
The bartender just hugged us goodnight. I think we go there too often.
Her craziness is the sexiest thing about her.
I can't wait to read your obituary.
He couldn't give me an orgasm, but he did give me a UTI.
I am attempting to break the habit of calling him daddy.
Dad hid the hash somewhere in my room and wont tell me where it is until i clean it. My room is spotless. The hash was on the ceiling fan...
I seriously just had to blow dry my thong.
Randomize
