Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
when I woke up she was standing in the living room with a bottle of scotch because she is "allergic to hangovers"
Is it appropriate to get drunk, stand up at the wedding and make a toast to "the time the lovely bride asked me to come on her chest"?
our generation is not ready to get married
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Somewhere between yelling how am I gonna make it to my flight and more titie shots I stopped caring
He ate me out on the kitchen floor while we waited for the cake to bake. How was your Valentines Day?
On a not really funny at all but kinda brighter note I've gotten really good at texting in hand cuffs
Fuck romance. Just shaved my nipples in the shower because I felt like it. That's the life I'm about.
I opened the door and his girlfriend was standing there; we made silent, prolonged eye contact as I quietly put on my panties and left.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm pretty sure my roommate is moving out because her cat likes me better
One of the worst parts about living at my parents again is trying to hide how often I'm hungover, just quietly puked in the basement bathroom while my mom got ready for work
Remember that guy I fucked last month? Well I'm watching his dog this weekend while he's in the Bahamas with his girlfriend. What is my life
You kept licking my face. You said you were making sure I was real.
How much glitter would I have to ingest in order for a "magnificent" amount to appear in my ejaculate?
The neighborhood cougar just purred at me while I was doing yard work. I’m terrified and tumescent
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