She invited me to an Eagles game, I mean that is almost better then if she told me she could only function with large amounts of semen in her system at all times.
Just saw a Mexican guy pushing a stroller with 3 twelve packs of corona in it with a toddler struggling to keep up on foot behind him
Now would be a good time to set your alarm to pick me up from jail in the morning.
Isn't it statistically impossible for THAT many ugly people to be in one place at one time?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And then he tried to clean the throw up off my pants with 409
I'm just planning on experiencing Disney as adult style as it gets. Drinking bloody mary's at dawn and telling all the kids waiting in lines how badly their future sucks and that Santa isn't real.
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
You just sent me a picture of a federal crime. Like. You don't give a fuck.
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
Just got blown whilst wearing a glow in the dark superman t shirt. Your night will never be as good as mine.
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
I was angry that a college kid had a new Audi
so I peed on it
We poured all the Fireball on the Slip and Slide and long story short I have two black eyes.
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
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