there's a sign at taco bell and it says "bacon and ranch make everything better." it speaks to me.
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
Always fun waking up to 911 as your last dialed call.
No I'm not coming over. That Bob Ross drinking game is too intense.
Be prepared to possibly be invited to a fancy strip club breakfast on Friday and be prepared to say yes.
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
can we take a moment to remember my theory on 'your tongue is a snake that lives in your mouth' because we reached a whole new level of high
He added me on LinkedIn while I was baking weed brownies in the boxers he left here... Is this adulthood?
I just went on etsy and my personalized suggestions on the page were either kinky sex restraints or baby things. I feel like etsy just summarized my life.
We were in bed, and he looked at me and asked if I'd be weirded out if he took his leg off. BEST.SEX.EVER.
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
Get here now. I need a drinking buddy. I don't care if you're in a different timezone, it'll be five o clock here faster.
He stopped in the middle of us fucking so he could turn on lithuanian techno music. And the sad thing is that it was the best sex of my life.
Randomize
