My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
if my vagina gave out awards, he should be preparing acceptance speaches for the oscar, the heisman and the nobel peace prize.
I just named my vagina "The Boneyard"
More like "Chia Pet"
you were licking his little sister's watercolors and trying to paint with your tongue.
I bought my dad an absinthe brewing kit for christmas.. looks like tripping with my dad is in my near future.
I wonder if Barack Obama has ever been this drunk.
you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
there's nothing like the elf drinking game to get me in the christmas spirit.
It's a gateway drink.... Starts with wine... Then I wake up in my car with mascara on my arms covered in french fries...
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
Remember last NYE when after the 9th shot of tequila you went on full crazy mode and made out with the 50 y/o doorkeeper? and he called you the next day?
so on a scale from morning glass of wine to that time i burnt the garage down how drunk were you last night
About 'lets tie a boat to a truck and ride it down the freeway'
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
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