My room smells like vodka and shame
True story: Just left my solo cup on a cop car. Yesss
He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
Did you know the Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders have an exercise show ON Demand? Yeah, I had a lonely night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I spent my night drunkenly staring at a picture of John Stamos. How do you think I feel?
The only way I made it through work was reminding myself how many margaritas per hour I was making
There're making snowcones with the leftover vodka from last night. This is not the time to be making up excuses!
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
I'm hiding out in the living room until he falls back asleep. If he catches a whiff of my tits, it's all over. I just need to play it cool. Babies can smell fear
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Damn you and your marathon penis with its superhuman capabilities
how come you came home with "Amanda owns this" written on your forhead
returning from a 6am booty call in 2 feet of snow on a Tuesday is a bold new kind of low for me
Drake has all the answers
what happened to you last night?
I dunno man, i pissed in a urinal, sent you a picture of my vagina and woke up with 25 bar stamps on my arms.. you tell me
I think it’s appropriate to celebrate the start of mother’s day at the bar with the men that almost made me a mother
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