if socks could get pregnant i would have catholic amounts of kids
he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
I think we need to stop being best friends, its not good for our vaginas.
This whole night would have been avoided if the liquor store had air heads
I was crying hysterically and you wouldn't stop petting my ear and shushing me every time I tried to say something.
If he breaks up with me, your job is to keep me drunk and make sure I don't sleep with anyone. Ok?
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
After we finished having sex, he drunkenly tried to hugh five me, farted, then accused me of stealing his socks.
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
I just ate apple sauce in my underwear. This isn't 30. This is 3.
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
Yes I’m serious. I just worked YOUR 12 hour shift on 3 hours of sleep if you come over without tacos and an ice cream cake in hand we are done
You have thirteen minutes to get here if you want to get back together. Otherwise I'm getting digits from the waitress.
Randomize
