I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
she needs to learn to take compliments like she takes dicks.
No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
He waited til after we had sex to tell me he had herpes... Ugh I hate being drunk
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
all he has to do is look at me on new years and hes getting laid. thats how hot he is
you covered his dog in toothpaste. safe to say hes not gonna call you.
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
So apparently the only parts of last night I remember didn't actually happen.. When did vodka become a hallucinogen?
he tried to give me his business card but gave me his health insurance card then realized it and offered to take me to the strip club
Then mom squeezed my boob and said, "Dad would go nuts if I had these..."
You installed a beer holder in the shower?! You're the best roommate ever!
... That's a shower caddy.
I believe this is a toe-mate-toe vs. toe-maut-toe situation.
Ah. Hot spring. Infinitely less skeevy than a hot tub. These North Carolinian dudes are all class.
Let me atleast have my coffee before you start talking about your penis
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