make sure i look cute passed out on the couch.
On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
I bought a police grade breathalyzer on ebay at 4:37 am. At least I'm a responsible drunk.
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
I don't like getting sloppy drunk but I don't like getting just half drunk either, I'm way too responsible if my blood alcohol level is below 0.2
If I die young bury me in satin. And make sure there's a taco bar at my funeral.
'lets look at pictures of your friend's new baby' was probably the worst post-sex idea we've ever had
he congratulated me on my ability to grow long hair after pulling it to see if i had extensions
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
You are a genius and a whore.
I just do things that aren't classy the classy way.
A world without bacon flavored condoms is not one I want to live in.
I told him I hooked up with his best friend. And then he ate me out. I'm just THAT GOOD.
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
Randomize
