The only thing he got me during our relationship was a cum stain in my backseat. I choose winners.
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
i told you the emergency thong was a good idea.
Just pissed by glowstick light. Bad idea.
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
This dude has my number from April last year. Drunk me left sober me a puzzle. No confirmation of pants off business
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
I'm at a bar where I literally walked in to the bathroom and some chick told me to never go to San Joaquin state pen
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
What would you say is the recommended tip for a hotel maid who has to clean up vomit on just about every surface of a hotel bathroom?
I'm never celebrating Galentine's Day again. It was a whorrific mess.
2016 was supposed to be my year of being a ho, but I guess 2017 might be too.
I was having a serious heart-to-heart, and then the weed gummy kicked in.
Well, thanks for not letting me sleep with anyone, but no thanks for telling everyone I have the clap.
According to the office gossip the new secretary is “a homewrecking whore”. Think I should spend $27 on a fake wedding ring?
Yes! Want that picture of you and my nephew?
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