just got my girl scout cookies. wanna get high?
when does it stop being whiskey dick and start just being me bad in bed?
fell asleep with the bong in the pool, weirdest tan line ever
I noticed when you had too much when you were yelling "HOE-HAVE-A-SEAT" to his cat.
well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
I am getting drunk. And i'm going to paint my face and slide down the stairs like Pochahontas. Goodbye
you are never too drunk for berry picking
You know where a good place to spend summer is? In your head. High as shit. It doesn't matter where you are.
I think I'm allergic to vodka. Or people getting engaged. One or the other. I want to die.
I tripped while walking across the stage and while trying to pick my diploma back up my flask fell out in front of the dean
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
Starting this Monday as I always do
With a desperate plea for help
I don't know what the hell I'm going to do with myself when this is all over. I'll probably just go back to smoking pot and trying to learn italian.
I am so so sorry I bit your butt last night. Twice.
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
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