dear santa what can i do with your candy cane?
if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
I just found 3 condoms in my math textbook... in the probability section... Under dependent and independent events...
So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
I have a huge gash on my chin. Did I get it from A) a mini siezure; B) an oral sex incident; C) Slamming it into a ledge or; D) all of the above?
I want to break up with him.....but he has a george forman grill...like I need that
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
The bartender was shocked when I took the mop bucket from him and told him I'd take care of my friends puke.
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
I just wrote my resume on the same park bench I got felt up at in freshman year of highschool... I've truly come full circle
We fucked while The Odyssey played in the background. Homer would be proud.
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
Is there any reason why a taxidermic donkey head is in the shower?
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