so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
Dude i have a 6th sense for when bagel bites are ready.
You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
The prostitute across the street from us is having a seizure on her front lawn again.
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
Why did you make me get in the car with you and then not give me a ride? I woke up in a bar with a blanket on me.
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
Its honestly only a matter of time before I punch him in the face... I'll try to control myself until you guys break up
Yes I peed all over myself and lost both my credit cards, who wants to know?
I couldn't read the menu. I ordered the first thing I was able to read. Don't think I ate anything. Left $20 on the table.
You were holding onto her boobs like you were adrift at sea and they were the only flotation devices
75% of the time I swipe right on Bumble for girls over 40 is because I think their 18 year old daughter is hot.
I have 2 voicemails from u last night. one of them is just 5 min of u saying "doodling"...
God yes pancakes and booze sounds like the best night ever.
Randomize
