pissed the bed twice, first one side then rolled over , other side. boom.
just threw up while drinking by myself. This is all your fault. You here = a good night, You not here = alcoholism
totally got the gold medal for the best fence jump when the cops came.
dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
Im at the hospital with monitors on and a giant green top hat. i blew a 24somethin. Im fucked.
I'm okay.. I had a good heart to heart with the cab driver Raheem - it's going to be our year.
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
i have at this current moment imbibed enough alcohol to float immerse or otherwise submerge a goat of respectable size. tequila
I don't care how drunk you were. Sending me a pic of your dick dressed as Uncle Sam with the caption "I want you" isn't an acceptable pick up line.
it will be just like last year but no clogged toilets and more costumes.
That awkward moment when you're drunk enough to crave cocaine, but you're sober enough to know it's only Tuesday.
someday i'll meet a man and who loves me as much as i love getting drunk and starting fires
Randomize
