paul mccartney is starting to look like angela lansbury
i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT
Its really bad when you fall asleep at a stop light outside the hotel and you wake up to a small spanish limo driver knocking on your window to tell you it's a green light
I thought you should know that there is a scientific law stating that when there is booze, people talk about your dick.
oh, so if i go friday and she's there, you are going to be my sponsor for not banging the crazy chick
Did we seriously steal a wet floor sign from McDonald's then get chased down by a homeless man for it? Never drinking again.
I just want to eat my penis shaped food in front of you and see how you feel about it.
I drank so much that my feet don't feel like my feet
Literally breaking up to my boyfriend while jamming out to Feraglicious
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
we watched a guy take a shot of tequila while riding a unicycle
So now I have had sex with 2 people my son graduated high school with.
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
He makes furniture for a living and is basically a hot, younger Ron Swanson
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