I dont know whether to be proud of myself for not driving, or being proud that i was so messed up I couldnt drive
:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
sexting on a treadmill. speed 9.0 beat that slut!
Your the only friend that would realize I'm gonna get drunk and send coke to me at a bar before I made drunken phone calls for it. You sir complete me.....
Pretty sure I'm taking the break up well. Alcohol made me okay with it and drugs keep me agreeing with why I dumped him in the first place.
i want to pour hot gravy all over you in bed
You're like the Mr. T of my A-team, only less gold jewelry and more pitying of fools.
That's the nicest thing anyone has said to me all day.
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
Met Dan at the park for lunch and the guy parked next to us was getting a BJ the entire time. Way to make me feel like an inadequate girlfriend, random park skank. All Dan got was a double cheeseburger and a large iced tea...
Some guy is in my phone as Pat McAwesome.
Easy Mac and you are the sexiest things in my life
I wish drunk me came with subtitles
please tell dad to clear the porn off his tablet before he lends it to anyone from now on
What the fuck i just wanna eat my froot loops and sext in peace. Y'all motherfuckers gotta be loud as shit and break my concentration
She’s either doing coke or thinks my cock has the Covid vaccine. Either way I haven’t worn clothes in 3 days
Randomize
