fuck. did you have to draw it on me with a permanent marker
Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
Couple in the hotel room next to me keep fucking. When I hear her get close I call the room wait for them to stop and hang up. If I'm not getting any tonight then no one should.
Idk if you've ever had the pleasure of 1. Vomiting on a sidewalk - at 3 in the afternoon 2. Vomiting nachos or 3. Vomiting nachos out of your nose but really I do not advise any of the above.
Ok, was I really fucked up or was there a chick from Norway in the ice cream shop teaching us Norwegian last night?
But he was wearing a glow-in-the-dark condom. It was like a glowing rod of kryptonite. I can't resist that, kryptonite is my weakness.
Just used my front-facing camera to check my pupils. Technology!
University has ruined us all. I just had to clarify the last time I had sex as "No, not at the party we crawled home from in the snow. It was the one where you puked off the balcony and hit the barbecue."
Dude, I'm not going to use a butt plug.
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
What do you bring to an "I'm getting divorced party?"
.......Shattered dreams and tequila?
Sometimes I wish I could tell all my past/present hookups what the nicknames that my friends and I have assigned them.
Randomize
