I dont abuse you, i just hit you while we have sex
i was rollin on her like bob the builder
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
a girl is trying to cook hot pockets in a saute pan on the stove.
the cop then proceeds to point out the "proud parent of a dare graduate" bumper sticker and say well i guess it's time to take that off
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
He autographed my vag. This fuck just got authentic.
I mean, that's eating your cake and fucking it too.
It is super hard to find a good vegan dominatrix! THAT'S why I'm single
barely 48 hours and I've done the dirty on both of my roommates beds before they've even slept in them
If I spent my amateur stripper money does that mean I am cleansed of my sins?
I woke up with what appeared to be LSD in my pocket. Know anything about this?
I'm waiting for your stupid pizza and this 400 lb drunk man is behind me singing the acapella version of Elevation by U2
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
Randomize
