i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
Let's go to weight watchers and eat in front of them.
Was just practicing flip cup with my NyQuil cup...
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
Its official. I've reentered slutty territory. I was a condom away from having sex in a childs playhouse at a park. Oh and I lost my car keys.
Tell me not to purchase 500 ball pit balls and a kiddy pool
No
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
So "I hate myself Mondays" has extended to Tuesday this week. I just had peanut butter and a glass of wine for lunch.
It's 11:50 on Friday the 13th. There's a full moon. AND the bride to be just puked on herself while getting a lap dance from a stripper named...wait for it....LUCKY. Is this real life?
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
Woke up to your boyfriend in my bed last night. What's that about?
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
I walk into the pharmacy and I'm like "I need three morning after pills" and the guy was like "uhhhh". All I said was "we didn't plan it, we all just got laid the same night"
I think it’s appropriate to celebrate the start of mother’s day at the bar with the men that almost made me a mother
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