I knew I was in the wrong bar when "I have a daughter your age" was some random's pick up line.
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
Considering showing up at your house with coronas. I'll be wearing a sombrero and that's it.
Party city is having a sale on maracas
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
No. I want him to marry me so we can spend our lives together. I also want a to-scale model of his genitals to mount above my fireplace
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
More cowboy butts than you can shake a stick at, oh joy.
I immediately retract my statement involving hylecopters being allowed to blow up sharks out of the water.... The idea if it is super incredible but ultimately it would be cruel and unessesary
Welp last night I made out with the guy who slices my deli meat at publix. I'm sure there's a joke there but I'm too hungover to find it. Go noles.
Never thought having a box of Cheerios could get me laid. My new lucky charm hello girl in 2B
there was a goddamn geisha at house. my dick feels more cultured.
Taking care of drunk people fulfills my need to be a mother
We probably are going to die. So. Thanks for agreeing to be my Maid of Honor even though I torture you.
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
Randomize
